i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
