is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
