you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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