For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
