the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
