hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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