I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
