dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
