Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just pee around me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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