He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
