im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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