Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
