Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had sex on a roof
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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