Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
