that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
