Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
