I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Pants are for mortals
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
