I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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