you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
