How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
