Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
