What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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