are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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