This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
