My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize