one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
