The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
