just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
A+ Viking dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
