my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I looked at my own cervix.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize