Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
