This is not my ceiling
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
