smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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