You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
