I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
