Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
