a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
