why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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