remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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