Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
