you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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