these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
