The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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