I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
