All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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