i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
