is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
