Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
