Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
