There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
