I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
