dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
