Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
MIDGETS
????
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
