So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
