i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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