DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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