I'm gonna have a badass scar
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
