So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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