Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
