Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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