Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my sisters under your porch take her home
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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