Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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