he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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