So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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