Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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