You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
