you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
