do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
