If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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