he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
