I feel great
I just peed on a car
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
