Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
