Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
