so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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